There’s a wealth of information that focuses on writing. The craft, the discipline, the creativity. I devoured books like On Writing by Stephen King. I took classes and pushed to get into an MFA program. I jumped into them headfirst, eager to learn everything I could. They were full of inspiring words that made me want to be a better writer while offering some tips and tricks to meet my goals. But here’s the thing, I always walked away from reading them feeling a little…
dejected
And I don’t mean in the “Am I really a good writer? Will anyone ever publish my stuff?” kind of way. I mean in a way that left a pit in my stomach. The feeling of how I could never measure up to these industry monoliths? Because while I put my heart into every word, it often felt like I lacked the conviction they pushed for.
Not because I didn’t want it. Because believe me, this is the only thing I could ever see myself doing. But because there I often have limitations no one talks about in these books or writing classes.
Limitations that come from being in chronic pain. I was diagnosed with chronic migraines years ago, meaning I typically have fifteen or more migraine days or more a month. If I’m being completely honest, it’s more like twenty-five. That’s a lot of days to have light sensitivity or nausea or blinding pain in one or both of my eyes. But I won’t go on about it. Much like when crafting a story, when a character is in pain, it’s best to keep the description of it to a minimum. I only want you to know that it doesn’t always feel like there’s space for people like me when writing.
I put my heart into every word…
Here are the three pieces of advice that helped me the most:
- You know your body
You know what a bad day feels like. You know what a good day feels like. You know if the spots in your vision are the first signs of an incoming migraine that will probably knock you out for the next day. No one offering writing advice knows these things about you because they’re unique to you. Maybe it’s a day where you can push through. Maybe it’s not. But you’re the only one qualified to say whether you are. It’s easy to fall into the expected standards for writers. You need to write every day. You need to spend hours researching the price of a can of tomato soup in 1946. If it’s a bad day, those things can wait. But this leads me to my second point.
- Be nice to yourself
So, you can’t write today? You’re too uncomfortable or too exhausted. It’s tempting to berate yourself for not being dedicated or to feel guilty for not meeting a specific goal today. But just like my first point, you know your body. And if it’s telling you to rest today, then you need to rest. There’s no need for guilt. I’ll fully admit I struggle with this a lot still. I’m writing this to remind myself as much as I am for you. And this brings me to my final point.
- Take it at your pace
It was during a Third Place Books event that I heard a piece of advice that completely changed my thinking about writing. Leigh Bardugo said, “There’s no timeline on your talent”. For so long, it felt like I was missing my opportunity. If I didn’t write today, then I would fall one more step behind my peers. But with everything going on in your life, taking one day or week or month or however long you need to rest isn’t going to suddenly diminish your talent. You need to work at your pace.
You’re not falling behind.
You are a writer.
there’s no timeline on your talent
While there’s a wealth of resources about being a better writer, you have to read them knowing they don’t take into account your health conditions or the way you must live your life. But look at me when I tell you this, and I say this to myself too because there will be a day in the future when I doubt it all, you ARE a writer.
And I’m so proud of you.